The Price of Love

By Ardi Wirdana | Sun, 12/21/2008 10:50 AM | Bookmark By Ardi Wirdana | Sun, 12/21/2008 10:50 AM | Bookmark

The kids in school keep saying That Daddy is in trouble and going to die. The kids at school always said that Daddy was in trouble and going to die. I keep telling Them he's not. I kept telling them he did not. My Daddy's a nice man - the nicest man I know. My Papa was a good man - the best I know.

"I'm Tired of telling people Papa That is not the mean. They never listen. I hate Them. And I hate Miss Eva too Because She blames me for everything. I think She likes Those kids better than me. Pls I Like That Time Bayu Raden made cry. He and his friends kept the words saying 'mischievous' and * die' to me. So I stabbed his hands with my pencil. He started Crying. He Was not even bleeding. Miss Eva said it was my fault . 'You're a bad girl, Annie ", She said," Should not you hurt your friends. "" I'm tired of telling people that he does not mean. They never listen. I hate them. And I hate Miss Eva also because he blames me for everything. I think she likes the boys better than me. Like that time when I make Bayu Raden cry. He and his friends kept saying the words' prison 'and * dead' to me. So I stabbed my hand with a pencil. She began to cry. He did not even bleed. Miss Eva said it was my fault. "You're a bad girl, Annie", she said, "You should not hurt your friends."

That's why I hate school now. That's why I hate school now. I want to stay at home. I want to stay at home. I always like Staying at home, playing with Papa. I always liked staying at home, playing with Papa. But Papa's never at home Anymore. But Papa was never at home anymore. He has to meet Some Important People - lawyers, he says. He must meet some important people - lawyers, he said. Before, Papa always stayed at home with me and Johan. Previously, Papa always stayed home with me and Johan. My big sister Karla says Papa never goes to work Because he's the boss - the big boss. My sister Karla said Papa was never going to work because her boss - the big boss.

I like it Pls Papa calls me and Johan, and Sometimes Karla, to pray together at six o'clock in the evening and afterwards We sit together and Papa tells us stories - stories about him "Pls he was a young man. I like it when Daddy called me and Johan, and sometimes Karla, to pray together at night and six hours later we sat together and Daddy told us stories - stories about him when he was young. Papa smiles Pls Those stories he tells us. He smiles when he tells us stories. Sometimes at the end of the stories, he says to Himself, "Oh, I wish I could go back to Those days". Sometimes at the end of the story, he said to himself, "Oh, I wish I could go back to those days."

Then he tells us to keep being good and honest people till We grow old and die. Then he told us to remain a good and honest people until we grow old and die.

Now That Daddy's not home, the house feels empty. Now Papa is not home, the house feels empty. There's only me and Johan, and the maid agency IRNA. Just me and Johan, and IRNA maid. The house is too big for three people, far too big. This house is too big for three people, too big. I think my school even cans fit in here. I think my school could fit in here. Mama's not at home either, She always comes home late. Mama was not at home either, he always came home late. She likes to play with her friends. He likes playing with his friends. Mama has lots of friends. Mom had many friends. I think a lot of people like her. I think many people like him.

Mama's not like Daddy. She does not like Papa. Mama's always busy. Mama always busy. She does not tell us stories. He did not tell us the story. She is always out. He is always out. She likes to buy lots of Things. He likes to buy things. Mama's good at that '. Mama's smart. Once She Bought me a beautiful white dress and shiny white shoes. Once he bought me a beautiful white dress and shiny white shoes. Johan gets lots of toys and once a big bike. Johan get lots of great toys and bicycles.

I like it Pls help Mommy and Daddy are together, they want like to joke around, smile and touch Each other. I like it when Mommy and Daddy together, they like joking, smiling and touching one another. They never fight. They never fight. Except one time they want Pls shouted at Each other in the dining room. Except for once when they were shouting in the dining room. I think Mama was with Papa Angry Because he Did not do something She said. I think Mama was angry with Dad because he did not do something she said.

Papa kept saying, "I'm not doing it again. You've got everything you want. This is not right!" Papa kept saying, "I do not do it anymore. You've got everything you want. This is not right!"

But Mama said that She would leave if he Did not do what She said. But Mama said that he would leave if he does not do what he says. So Dad picked up his phone and somebody Called. So Dad picked up the phone and call someone. Mama smiled and hugged and kissed him "him". Mama smiled and hugged her and kissed her. That made me happy. It makes me happy.

Sometimes I wish i had another sister so I Could play with her. Sometimes I wish I had another sister so I could play with him. Karla never plays with me Because she's too big. Karla had never played with me because he was too big. She is 16 I think. She is 16 I think. She likes to go out and buy Things with Mom or play with her boyfriend. She loves to go out and buy things with Mama or play with his girlfriend.

Johan is two years older than me, he's in the fourth grade. Johan is two years older than me, she was in fourth grade. Johan is very clever, he's the cleverest in his class. Johan is very smart, he's the smartest in his class. Not like me, only the third cleverest in my class. Not like me, only the third brightest in my class. Johan likes to play football, Sometimes I play with him "or Sometimes I just watch him" play with his friends. Johan loves to play football, sometimes I play with him or sometimes I just watch him play with his friends.

Johan is a quiet boy but he Can Get Angry Sometimes. Johan was the son of a quiet man but sometimes he gets mad. Also he gets Angry Pls Things people say about Papa. He was also angry when people say things about Papa. Three days ago Johan got in big trouble in school for fighting. Three days ago Johan big trouble for fighting at school. One of his friends kept yelling "corruptor, corruptor" to him ". One of his friends kept yelling "corrupt, corrupt" him. That boy Johan kicked so hard in the stomach. So Johan boys kicked hard on the stomach. That boy was big and strong so he Did not cry. The boy was big and strong that she did not cry. He punched in the face Johan then started grabbing Each other they want. He pressed Johan's face and then they began to seize one another.

When he Came home, his nose was stuffed with cotton. When he returned, his nose stuffed with cotton. It was bleeding, but Johan Was not Crying. It was bloody, but Johan did not cry. He Told me what Had Happened. He told me what had happened. I asked him "what * corruptor 'meant. I asked him what * corrupt "means. He said he did not know, but it sounded like something bad" like Some kind of monster or evil robot or something ". He said he did not know, but it sounds like something bad" as sort of monster or evil robot or something. "

I wanted to know what this word really means. I want to know what these words really mean. I asked Karla, but She was mean. I asked Karla, but she meant. She said "Do not say That word, Annie. Whatever you do, just do not say That word in front of Papa, or else he's going to be Angry at you!" He said: "Do not say that word, Annie. Whatever you do, just do not say that word in front of Daddy, or he will be mad at you!"

I do not believe her, daddy loves me. I do not believe him, Daddy loves me. He would never shout at him. He would never yell at me. I'm his favorite girl - that's what he always whispers to me. I'm his favorite girl - that's what he always whispers to me. When Papa was sitting in his chair reading a book, I Came running to him "and hugged him". When Papa was sitting in his chair reading a book, I came running to him and hugged him.

He lifted me on to his lap and kissed my hair three times. He lifted me onto his lap and kissed my hair three times. Then he started reading again. Then he began reading again. Remembered my first question, so I asked him ". I remember my question, so I asked him. "Papa, what is corruptor? What does it mean?". "Papa, what corrupter? What does it mean?". But Papa Did not answer. But Papa did not answer. He Did not move. He was not moving. He Became very still. He became very quiet. Papa put down his book very Studio albums Slowly. Daddy put the book down very slowly. I was Scared, maybe Papa was Angry at me. I'm scared, Papa might be angry with me. I turned my head to look at his face - and he was Crying. I turned to see her face - and she was crying. Papa was Crying Because of me. Papa cried because of me. I told him That I was sorry - I was really, really sorry And that I wont do it again. I told him that I'm sorry - I really, really sorry and that I will not do it again. But Daddy just held me and hugged me tighter Closer. But Papa just hugged me and hugged me closer. "No, darling. I'm sorry," he said, "Just remember That Papa loves you Until forever, No Matter What Happens, alright sweetheart?" "No, honey. I'm sorry," he said, "Just remember that Daddy loves you forever, no matter what happens, all right honey?"

I said yes. I said yes.

The next day something terrible Happened. The next day, something bad happens. Seven Came to our house shortly. Seven people came to our house. Were polite First they want, they want said hello and talked to Papa. First they were courteous, they greet and talk with Papa. Then they want Became rude. Then they become violent.

Six of the men got up and started messing up our house. Six of the men got up and started to mess up our house. Upstairs Three men, three men downstairs. Three people on the upper floor, three people below. They opened Every Chest and Every cupboard. They opened every drawer and every cupboard. I think Were looking for something they want. I think they're looking for something. Mama was Scared, She was Crying and shouting and telling her to stop Those bad. Mama was afraid, she was crying and screaming and telling people to stop evil. Karla was a standing behind Mama - She was Crying too, but quietly. Karla is standing behind Mama - she was crying too, but secretly. I sat on the staircase behind Johan. I sat on the stairs behind Johan. I wanted too cry too, but I kept quiet Because Johan Told me too. I want also to cry too, but I remained silent because Johan told me too. Johan was brave, he watched very carefully Those shortly. Johan brave, he saw people were very careful.

Those men took something from Papa's and Mama's room and Also something from Papa's office. Those people are taking something from Papa and Mama's room and also something from Papa's office. Were they want When they want finished sat down in the couch again Nowhere Papa Were And that other man. When they finished they sat on the sofa again where Papa and that the other person.

Those men talked to Each other for a while and then the leader, the one WHO Had been talking to Daddy, got up and said "Sorry sir, you have to come with us". People talk to each other for a while and then a leader, someone who has been talking with Daddy, wake up and say "Excuse me sir, you must come with us". Did Daddy say anything. Papa did not say anything.

He kept on nodded and looking down to the floor. He nodded and kept looking down onto the floor. Two of the men grabbed his arms Quickly and took him "out of the house. Two men quickly grabbed his arm and took him out of the house. Johan Became Angry. Johan became angry. Uh bed after Them. He ran after them. He Called for Papa. He's calling for Papa. He shouted to Those men, "It's not him", it's not his fault! " He cried out to the people, "Not him, it was not his fault!"

That night I decided to sleep in Johan's room. That night I decided to sleep in rooms Johan. I was Scared. I'm afraid. Being with Johan makes me feel safe. Being with Johan made me feel safe. Also I wanted to ask Johan Some questions. I also want to ask you some questions Johan.

"Where Are They Taking Papa?" "Where are they taking Daddy?"

"To the police station, probably." "To the police station as possible."

"But why? What did he do?" "But why? What is she doing?"

"I do not know." "I do not know."

"But Johan, before you had said to Those That it Was not Daddy's fault." "But Johan, before you tell people that it was not one of Papa."

"Look, I do not know anything, Annie. But one thing I know for sure is That Papa is a good man. He would never do anything mean to anyone. They've got the wrong guy, Annie. Trust me, they want 've got the wrong guy! " "Look, I do not know anything, Annie. But one thing I know for sure is that Papa is a good person. He would never do anything mean to anyone. They've got the wrong person, Annie. Trust me , they 've got the wrong person! "

I saw Johan That was beginning to get Angry, so I stayed quiet for a moment. I saw that Johan was getting angry, so I remained silent for a moment. Came But then a thought to my mind. But then a thought came to mind. "What if Those Were kids right? What if Daddy is going to jail or going to die." "What if the children were true? What if Papa would go to prison or die."

"No!" "No!" Johan said. Johan said. I thought he was going to shout at me, but he was calm, "No, it's not him". They've got the wrong guy! " I think he would yell at me, but he calmly, "No, it was not him. They've got the wrong person!"

Anymore I did not dare ask questions. I did not dare ask the question again. I believed Johan. I believe Johan.

They've got the wrong guy. They've got the wrong person.

The next day, Johan Came home from school, he beds Upstairs. The next day, Johan came home from school, he ran upstairs. He was looking for me. He's looking for me. I was playing in his room. I was playing in his room.

"Annie, Annie, I know what it means!" "Annie, Annie, I know what that means!"

I did not know what he was talking about. I do not know what he's talking about.

"Miss Khyn said it's like a thief. She said a corruptor WHO is a person cheats to steal lots and lots of money. Just like a thief, but Worse." "Miss Khyn word like a thief. He says criminals are people who cheat to steal lots and lots of money. Just like a thief, but worse."

Johan sat down on his bed and stayed still. Johan sat on her bed and remained silent. I can tell he was thinking Because he was staring at the floor and Did not blink. I know he was thinking because he was staring at the floor and did not blink.

Then he said quietly, "But what does Daddy want with money? He never even Buys anything. Papa does not even like money." Then he said quietly, "But what does Daddy want with money? He did not even buy anything. Papa do not even like money."

That was the last time he spoke to me. That was the last time he spoke to me. Johan Became very, very quiet after that '. Johan became very, very quiet after that. I was worried about Johan. I'm worried about Johan. I Knew He Was Angry at something or Someone. I know he's mad at something or someone. But WHO? But who? It could not be me. It can not be me. If Johan was Angry at her, I would know, Because he would punch my arm or a pull my hair. If Johan was mad at me, I'll know, because he will hit the arm or pulling my hair out. But this time he was just quiet, really quiet. But this time he was just quiet, really quiet.

One morning - it was Saturday, I think - Mama Called all of us into the living room. One morning - it was Saturday, I think - Mama calls all of us into the living room. We Knew there was something Important. We knew there was something important. When I got to the living room, Mom was sitting at the big chair, the one closest to the front door - Papa's chair. When I reached the living room, Mom was sitting in a big chair, nearest the front door - Papa's chair.

Mama looked beautiful. She looks beautiful. She was wearing a pretty white dress and a big diamond necklace hanging on her neck. She wore a beautiful white dress and a large diamond necklace that hung around his neck. Her skin was smooth and soft and shiny She wore Those Lovely Earrings Papa Bought her not long ago. His skin was smooth and soft and she wore beautiful earrings glistening Papa bought recently. Mama was beautiful. Mama's beautiful. She looked like a princess. He looked like a princess.

"Look, there is' Some bad news," Mama said, "The court said that Papa's guilty. And they want have charged him". " "Look, there's bad news," said Mama, "the Court said that Papa guilty. And they have charged him." Mama's face turned a little sad. Mom's face was rather sad. "I do not know how long he's going to be away for. But we're going to visit him" Every week. And I want all of you to be strong for him, okay? " "I do not know how long he'll go for. But we're going to visit her every week. And I want you all to be strong for him, okay?"

We all nodded. We all nodded.

Mama said "good", and then "goodbye". Mama said "good" and then "goodbye." And then She left in the car That Had been waiting for her outside. And then he went on a car that had been waiting outside. When Johan's Angry, he is boring. When Johan was angry, he's boring. He does not do anything fun. He did not do anything fun. He goes to school in the morning, comes home in the afternoon, watches TV, eats, reads his comics and goes to sleep at night. He went to school in the morning, went home that afternoon, watching TV, eating, reading comics and going to bed at night.

That's it. That's it. Every single day. Every day.

I do not like it Pls Johan is quiet like this. I do not like it when Johan calm like this. He does not talk to me. He did not talk to me. He does not tell me Things. He did not tell me things. Now I do not know what I like and I do not know what I hate Anymore. Now I do not know what I like and I do not know what I hate more. There are lots of new songs on TV, but I do not know Which one I like. There are a lot of new songs on TV, but I do not know which one I liked. I want to go inside Johan's mind so I know what is good and what is bad again. I want to get into Johan's mind so I know what's good and bad anymore. So I know Which songs I like. So I know the songs that I liked.

I want him "to tell me Things again. I want him to tell me things anymore. I want to know what's in his mind. I want to know what's on his mind.

Johan has a book. Johan has a book. His own book. His own book. He writes in Book That Every night before going to sleep. He writes in the book every night before bed. I thought it was a diary. I thought it was a diary. But Johan says its not. But Johan says that is not. Diaries are for little girls. Diaries are for little girls. His book is Called a Journal. His book is called Journal.

I Knew I Was not allowed to touch his Journal. I know I should not touch the Journal. He would kill me if i touched it. He'll kill me if I touch it.

"You go near it, I'll kill you!", He once said. "You go closer, I'll kill you!", He once said.

But, I needed to know what he was thinking. But, I must know what he was thinking. I'm Scared That I Might start to hate him ", and you're not allowed to hate your own brother, Papa said. I am afraid that I will start hating him, and you are not allowed to hate your own brother, said Papa.

So I did it. So I did. I read his journal. I read the Journal. I feel bad reading Johan's Journal. I felt bad reading Johan's Journal.

But at least now I know what Johan is thinking. But at least now I know what you think about Johan.

Now I know what I like. Now I know what I like.

Who I hate. Who I hate.

"... Daddy paid the ultimate price for love. He loved too much. He did too much for love. His heart was white, too white for his own good. He was too kind to her. But she does not deserve him" . Her Greed does not deserve his kindness. rotten Her heart does not deserve his love. I want to shout out That's all this is Because of her. It's Mama. She made Daddy do all Those Things. It's Mom's fault. She Should be the one locked up in jail! they've got the wrong guy! " "... Papa pays the highest price for love. She loves too much. He's not so much for love. His heart was white, too white for the good of himself. He's too nice to her. But he did not deserve him. Her greed is not worthy of his kindness. with heart rot unworthy of his love. I want to shout that all this is because of him. It's Mama. He makes Papa do all those things. This is one of Mama. He should be the one locked up in jail! They've got the wrong person! "